My Apology

I owe you an apology. You're not even in this crazy world yet and already I've screwed up.

I owe you an apology for pigeon holing you based on your gender. I apologize for being afraid of raising you. I apologize for railing to others the wonders of boys in pink and then diligently refusing to keep some of your sister's clothes. I apologize for ever thinking you would become less of a HUman because you're being raised by dykes. I apologize for mentally filtering out some of our male friends because you "need a strong male role model". I apologize for the nights I've lost sleep worrying how I could raise you as a grounded, honest person and why in doing so I am scared you'll be labeled gay. I apologize for my own societal taught misconceptions of gender roles and not questioning them sooner. I apologize for focusing on your penis and not the whole of you.

I promise to show you the beauty of a sunset. I promise to help dig for worms in the backyard. I promise to keep your hair short or long based on how YOU want it. I promise that I will not cringe when you wear your pants around your butt. I promise that soccer, rugby and hockey are as open to you as music, theater and dance. I promise to teach you to be a voice of reason when others use violence. I promise to make sure that any wings you wish to wear - real or imagined - will always fit.

I promise to let you be you, not because you are a boy, but because you are my child.